A brochure cover for the 1993 Subaru Impreza WRX wagon featuring actor Kyle MacLachlan looking out the driver’s side window.

The best celebrity endorsements are those that have very little to do with the product being sold. Vanity is fragile anyway. Does Ford really expect me to believe that Derek Jeter owned a Ford Edge in Blazing Copper with a Panoramic Roof Vista? Ryan Reynolds knows nothing about wireless phone service – at least not more than you or I do – and yet we’re supposed to follow his recommendation of a provider no one’s ever heard of with an obnoxious raccoon as its mascot? All of this makes no sense; just own it in the front and place the cute face in front of the unrelated widget. We all know what’s going on here.

That brings us to pretty face Kyle McLachlan and an independent widget, the first-generation Subaru Impreza. It’s thanks to the Twitter user The Administrator learned about this game, and it fills me with such joy that I would love to share it with others who were previously unaware of its charms. Meet FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper for Subaru’s new-age compact sedan, coupe and station wagon.

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Immediately I had questions, as I’m sure you do. My first question, just like yours, was “Why?” Pretty funny, although I’m 90% sure I would like twin peaks if i took the time to sit down and watch it, i never did. Little did I know that David Lynch’s cult series about unexplainable phenomena in a Washington town was actually a huge hit in Japan. Mary Hart summed it up as well as anyone could on the June 26, 1992 episode of entertainment tonight embedded below.

Credit: AskAboutLoom via YouTube

It was the same The New York Times a few weeks later, in August of the same year. The thesis – at the time, anyway – was that because the series was airing in Japan on a new pay-TV channel called Wowow, the limited access made it hard to get, and that made it popular. Once you spent the price of uncovering the mystery of Laura Palmer’s death, you would just have to find out how it all ends, right?

This national craze reached its peak with the feature film Twin Peaks: Walk With Fire With Me, which was first released at the box office in Japan about a year after the series ended on American television. Fans held a mock funeral, indulged in Agent Cooper’s favorite dessert – cherry pie – and flew all the way to Washington state to pretend to be dead on the beach. Of NYT:

Japan was also awash with “Twin Peaks” paraphernalia. Theaters showing the film are peddling “Twin Peaks” baseball caps, T-shirts and portable fans. Bookstores carry Japanese versions of books like “Laura’s Diary”, “Cooper Speaks Out” and “How to Be a Peaker”.

Japan Travel Bureau, the country’s largest travel agency, organized six group trips, with a total of 300 people, to Snoqualmie, WA. They stay at the lodge where Cooper stayed, eat cherry pie at the restaurant where Cooper ate, and lie on the beach where Laura’s body lay. The five-day tour costs between $1,600 and $2,000.

All this to say that you can imagine why Subaru would want to take advantage of the twin peaks fervor, so that the big marketing push around its new Civic and Corolla fighter really lasts. And what better way to do that than with Kyle MacLachlan, the beautiful star of the series? Here he stares pensively out the window of his Impreza WRX Sports Wagon, circa 1993, as you know he would:

A brochure cover for the 1993 Subaru Impreza WRX wagon featuring actor Kyle MacLachlan looking out the driver's side window.

A brochure cover for the 1993 Subaru Impreza WRX wagon featuring actor Kyle MacLachlan looking out the driver’s side window.

And here he looks a little more laid back – also fair looking at. What, we don’t know. We can only assume that’s MacLachlan’s face when an Impreza in his most practical body style crosses his line of sight. Frankly, who among us could blame him?

A brochure cover for the 1993 Subaru Impreza WRX station wagon with actor Kyle MacLachlan seated.

A brochure cover for the 1993 Subaru Impreza WRX station wagon with actor Kyle MacLachlan seated.

This one confuses me the most. Reduce the actor’s previous portrait to a picture-in-picture circle above half a pair of jeans which is too the water must encapsulate the enigmatic energy that I imagine his fans love about him and his roles.

A brochure cover for the 1993 Subaru Impreza WRX station wagon featuring actor Kyle MacLachlan.

A brochure cover for the 1993 Subaru Impreza WRX station wagon featuring actor Kyle MacLachlan.

Again, it’s a wagon! These must have been his favourites. He was not impartial towards the occasional sedan, however.

A brochure cover for the 1993 Subaru Impreza WRX station wagon featuring actor Kyle MacLachlan, now in costume.

A brochure cover for the 1993 Subaru Impreza WRX station wagon featuring actor Kyle MacLachlan, now in costume.

It’s all a race for the best thing, the thing I saved for last – TV spots. Yes, this ad campaign also aired on the small screen, where MacLachlan posed a simple question to shoppers: “Yes or no?”

Credit: GTspirits via YouTube

It’s my favorite though, and you’ll know why by the 15th second.

Credit: extended tsunematsu via YouTube

I don’t know what the spot on his face has to do with anything. Maybe it sends a “pull yourself back when the world knocks you down” type message, which our hero accentuates when he punches gleefully seconds before straightening his tie and heading to his dick-sucking desk job. soul, where I’m sure he’s underestimated by his colleagues. Don’t worry, man, you’re doing very well!

After seeing them, my day was briefly as bright as the weather in Washington is gloomy, and I hope the same is true for you. No wonder MacLachlan was later chosen as from Portlandia mayor; he had already been indoctrinated into the world of Subaru, after all. Or maybe he was just clairvoyant and did all his preparation for the role 15 years in advance. I would believe it.

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